NWA Danger Zone Wrestling (January 1, 2006)

NWA Danger Zone Wrestling

January 1, 2006

First Union Center

Philadelphia, PA

 

Disclaimer:  This is pure fantasy folks - only the names are real, but the rest comes from deep inside my head.  Now just imagine what I could do with a roster like TNA's or the WWE's???  Are you paying attention, Vince?

 

We open the show with Tony Schiavone and "Dirty" Dutch Mantell welcoming us to The Danger Zone.  It's the greatest wrestling show ever as we have a huge event.  In the first ever NWA "Boot Camp Match" - Mark Copani, of the Horsemen, takes on former WWF Champion The Iron Sheik.  The NWA World Champion Christian Cage is here tonight, and in Ted DiBiase's "Money Pit", he will be talking to two very upset women - Joanie "Chyna" Laurer and Madusa.  It's a big night.  Welcome to 2006.  Now, let's go straight to the ring for the first match...

 

Cue David Penzer...

 

MIKE ROTUNDO & BARRY WINDHAM versus THE DISCO INFERNO & THE MASKED SUPERSTAR

 

Schiavone & Mantell put over how the unusual pairing of Disco Inferno and Superstar came about as Disco does his usual pre-match ritual of demanding the mic and proclaiming that the best thing about 2006 is that the fans can go home and tell their friends and family that they had the chance to see the Disco Inferno dance.  Big pop for Disco.  Windham levels Disco with a clothesline and the match is on.  Lots of great back and forth with a mixture of science and brawling.  In the end, Disco manages to catch Rotundo with the "chart-buster".. He tags in Superstar to lock in the cobra-clutch and Rotundo goes out as Disco takes Windham to the floor to avoid having him break up the hold.  The referee checks Rotundo's arm and calls for the bell.

Winners:  DISCO INFERNO & THE MASKED SUPERSTAR

 

We go to the back and NWA Commissioner Harley Race is talking to someone on the phone and he doesn't seem very happy.  Race slams down the phone in disgust.  Michael P.S. Hayes is standing with Race and asks what's going on.  Race growls that the powers-that-be behind the NWA are sending someone down to "evaluate" Race and the way he does his job.  Hayes asks "Who's coming?" and Race just scowls and storms off, leaving Hayes standing there.

 

(commerical)

 

We come back and see Lodi standing by with Missy Hyatt.  He tells Missy that he was upset when his partner, Lenny, lost his job as a result of the "Pink Slip Battle Royal" because Lenny was his friend, his partner, and so much more.  But life goes on.  And Lodi is searching for a new partner to make the best of things.  He thinks he found one.  Jimmy Valiant comes dancing in and he goes on a classic-boogey rant about different strokes for different folks and the "Boogie Man" loves everyone and they can kick butt in the ring.  Valiant kisses Missy, Lodi and goes after the camera guy as we cut to....

 

Doug Gilbert and Tommy Rich are watching the Boogie/Lodi interview on a moniter.  They look amused at the antics of Valiant and the whole idea of Valiant teaming with Lodi.  "Just another couple of freaks and losers!", Gilbert proclaims.  Rich makes a couple of very off-key remarks about Lodi and says that maybe they ought to kick their ass tonight, just for something to do.  Gilbet agrees and says, "Let's go find Race!"

 

A video promo airs for "NWA Thunder & Lightning" coming on PPV on January 26, 2006 from Las Vagas, Nevada....

 

(commercial)

 

We come back and see Tommy Rich and Doug Gilbert in the ring.  They were going to ask Harley Race to give them a match, but they don't need to ask anyone for anything.  Freaks like Lodi and Valiant make them sick.  Lodi is a disgusting pervert and just plain sick.  Valiant is senile and needs to be put away!  And Gilbert & Rich are the men to do it.  They're calling out Valiant and Lodi to "get rid of the scum" from the NWA.  Here comes Valiant and Lodi, charging to the ring.  A ref calls for the bell and the match is on...

 

"WILDFIRE" TOMMY RICH & "DIRTY" DOUG GILBERT versus LODI & "THE BOOGIE WOOGIE MAN" JIMMY VALIANT

 

Forget about wrestling holds.  This is just brawling at it's best as al four men go at it and just seem determined to pound the crap out of each other.  Lodi scores with a kick and facebuster on Rich for two.  Valiant tags in and throws fists and a big elbow.  Elbow drop by Valiant on Rich and Gilbert makes the save to prevent the pin.  Gilbert chokes Valiant on the ropes and levels Jimmy with a big knee.  Double-team by Rich and Gilbert and they plant Valiant to the mat.  The teamwork of Rich & Gilbert makes all the difference as they keep tagging in and out and kep Valiant on their side of the ring. Finally, Rich hits the "Thesz Press" and gets the pin.  Lodi tries to make the save, but Gilbert cuts him off and sends him to the floor.

Winners:  TOMMY RICH & DOUG GILBERT

 

We go to the back and see new NWA North American Champion Arn Anderson giving a pep talk to Mark Copani, who's dressed in camaflouge and ready for his upcoming match against The Iron Sheik.  Arn drills home that Copani lost the cage match to the Iron Sheik at the "Seasons Beatings" PPV and let the Horsemen down.  Copani cost Charlie Haas & Sean O'Haire a match against Kronik at W.A.R. just a couple of days ago and let the Horsemen down then as well.  Arn goes on to say how he likes Copani and thinks he's going to be a major star, but he needs to get his head into it and quit screwing up.  Copani just listens to what Arn has to say and promises the leader of the Horsemen that he messed up before, but he won't do it anymore.  He knows what he has to do and that's destroy the Iron Sheik tonight!  He apologizes again to Arn and says he's ready to make the Horsemen proud.  Arn tells him to go finish gettting ready for his match and pats him on the back.  Copani walks off as Arn watches him leave.

 

(commercial)

 

We come back and it's time for "The Money Pit" with Ted DiBiase in the ring.  DiBiase shows the ending of the "Mixed Tag Team Match" from Seasons Beatings as WWE Superstar Triple H turns on Joanie "Chyna" Laurer after the match, allowing Waltman to give her the "Bronco Buster".    And Sean Waltman turns on Madusa, allowing HHH to give her the pedigree.  It's a DX reunion as Waltman & HHH hug and celebrate after dumping both ladies with their finishers.

 

DiBiase calls out his first guest, Joanie "Chyna" Laurer.  Laurer comes out and she's got herself pulled together and seems for anything.  She's spent the past couple of weeks since Seasons Beatings just reflecting and thinking things through and she's tired of being a door mat.  She let Waltman get to her.  She trusted HHH, even though he's a liar and a snake.  And she deserved what happened.  She's been crazy and letting everyone else pull her strings and look what happened.  She's better than that.  She's an actress and a singer. She's making movies and doesn't need Waltman or HHH or anyone!

 

Laurer finishes ranting and DiBiase brings out his other guest, Madusa.  Madusa & Laurer suprisingly embrace in a hug.  Madusa says that she came back to wrestling at Sean Waltman's insistance, but she has a great career going with her Monster Truck.  Waltman used her and manipulated her just to get at Laurer and like an idiot, she fell for it.  Madusa reveals that since the PPV, she and Laurer have talked several times over the phone and put the pieces together.  All of this was just a sick game on the part of Waltman and HHH.  Who knows why and who cares.  Well, ha-ha!  They got to beat up a couple of women.  They had their fun.  Big deal!  Madusa says that she got out of wrestling to start with because she was tired of the men and their stupid games.  Some things never change and, just like Laurer, she's better than that as well.

 

DiBiase asks if he's reading them right - they're getting back out of wrestling??  Laurer and Madusa kind of nod and music hits.  Here comes Christy Hemme to the ring.  She apologizes for interupting, but she can't believe her ears.  Laurer and Madusa are role models and inspiration to women like her.  And they're ready to quit because two lying scoundrels like HHH and Waltman played them.  What kind of message does that send to women like her?  Hemme just asks for a chance to talk with Laurer and Madusa.  Listen to what she has to say and if they don't like it, she'll shut up, but just give her a chance.  Laurer and Madusa say they're willing to listen and Laurer, Madusa and Hemme all leave the ring together as we go to a commercial..

 

(commerical)

 

We come to the ring and Vader is in the ring with The Great Muta.  Vader is talking about how he's been in a rut lately.  But on a recent flight back from Japan, he got to talking to another man who seems to be having the same kind of problems, The Great Muta.  So they've decided to try teaming for a while and see what happens.  And right now, they challenge any team from the back to come out and see what they can do with Vader & Muta...

 

Hey yo!  Here comes Scott Hall & Stevie Richards on to the ramp....  They make fun of Vader's gut and Muta's bald head and just have a fun old time tearing apart the two Japanese wrestling legends.  Hall finally gets on the mic and says that if they want a match, that's fine.  It's up to the fans and that means "Survey time!"  Are the fans here to hear Vader and Muta cry and whine.... (or) do they want to see Hall & Stevie kick their ass?  Big pop as Stevie grabs the mic and says "one more for the good guys"..

Stevie & Scott head to the ring as the referee calls for the bell

 

SCOTT HALL & STEVIE RICHARDS versus VADER & THE GREAT MUTA

 

Vader & Muta control the early action as they just power over Hall & Richards.  Vader is just too big to move and clubs away at both men.  Muta tags in and misses a big kick at Richards, who counters with a kick of his own.  Suplex by Richards and a clothesline as he tags in Hall.  Hall & Muta are exchanging chops and fists.  Scott hits the "snake-eyes" for two as Vader breaks it up.  Vader tags in and powers over Hall with shoulders and clubbing forearms.  Vader sets up Hall for a powerbobm, but Richards is in and clips the leg of Vader to break it up.  Hall seizes the opening and starts kicking and stomping away at the knee of Vader.  Richards tags back in and he stays after Vader's leg with kicks and another clip.  Figure-four by Richards, but Muta breaks it up.  Vader whips Richards in the corner and charges in, but Stevie moves and Vader hits the knee again in the corner.  Hall comes in and levels Muta with a clothesline as Stevie locks Vader in an Indian Deathlock in the center of the ring.  Vader fights and resists for a time, but finally taps as the pain on the leg is too much to bear.

Winners:  SCOTT HALL & STEVIE RICHARDS

 

(commercial)

 

We come back and Michael Hayes is standing by with The Iron Sheik.  Over twenty-five years ago, The Iron Sheik destroyed a wrestling legend named Pat Patterson in a "boot camp" match.  Sheik went on from there to destroy the legend that was Sgt. Slaughter in a boot camp match.  Sheik is undefeated in these matches and that will not change tonight.  Sheik took Copani under his wing because he thought he would be a star.  Instead, he's just punk!  Sheik has taken everything that Copani and Horsemen had and keeps coming back.  Tonight, Sheik makes example out of Copani and ends it once and for all.  Now, zoom, cameraman, zoom!

 

Back to the ring and David Penzer..

 

LUNA VACHON versus MOLLY HOLLY

 

Luna attacks Molly as the bell rings and pummels her in the corner.  Just a total squash as Molly never has the opportunity to get going.  Shoulderbreaker by Luna on Molly and a big DDT for the quick win.

Winner:  LUNA VACHON

 

We go back to the back where Missy Hyatt is standing by with NWA World Champion Christian Cage.  He's been the champ for a couple of weeks now and it's a great feeling.  The peeps around the world are still rejoicing and he's had to change his phone number several times already to get rid of the stalkers.  Missy asks about his thoughts against defending the title tonight against Vampiro. Christian doesn't think much of "Count Chocula" and feels so long as Punkula doesn't bite him, he'll be OK.  He'll just stake him with the unprettier and that will be that.  Vampiro and Jim Cornette step into the picture. Vampiro tells Christian that he'd better start taking things more seriously or else he's going to be a former champion pretty fast.  Cornette starts to talk, but Christian tells him to "shut the hell up" before he ever gets started.  They'll do all their talking in the ring... because that's how he rolls.  Christian walks off as Cornette and Vampiro watch.

 

We cut to Arn Anderson and Mark Copani preparing to head to the ring for Copani's match.  Arn stops and says that he's not going.  Copani is on his own tonight, and gets to prove himself by himself.  Arn is keeping the Horsemen in the back. Copani says that's fine by him - he'll do it on his own and prove to everyone why he belongs in the Horsemen.  Copani is headed to the ring as we go to commercial.

 

(commerical)

 

It's time for David Penzer.  The following match is a "Boot Camp Match" which means that basically, anything goes.  The way to win is when your opponent can't beat the ten count...

 

BOOT CAMP MATCH

THE IRON SHEIK  versus MARK COPANI

 

Copani immediately rushes Sheik and levels the older Iranian with fists and kicks.  Slam by Copani and he tosses the Sheik to the floor.  Copani follows and puts the Iron Sheik into the steel ringpost.  He tells the referee to count.  The ref gets to "7" before Sheik pulls himself up.  Copani rushes in and gets caught by a quick suplex by the Sheik.  Two more suplexes and Sheik kicks Copani into the guts, sending him to the floor.  Sheik follows and puts Copani into the ring apron.  The ref counts to "6" before Copani tries to climb into the ring.  Sheik kicks and stomps away at Copani as he enters the ring.  Another suplex and Sheik decides to go for the Camel Clutch.  Copani snapmares Sheik over and hits him with a karate thrust to the throat.  Big slam by Copani and he tosses Sheik to the floor. Copani follows and grabs a chair, swinging it wildly at the Iron Sheik. Sheik ducks down and the chair bounces off the ropes, nailing Copani in the head.  Sheik grabs the fallen chair and wails Copani across the skull, a sick crack echoing through the arena.  Copani goes down.  The Sheik rolls back into the ring as the referee counts.  Copani tries to pull himself up, but at the "8" count, collapses back to the floor.  The referee's count reaches "10" and he calls for the bell.

Winner:  THE IRON SHEIK

 

We cut to the back and see Arn Anderson, Woman, Charlie Haas, Sean O'Haire & Miss Jackie - The Horsemen, all gathered around a moniter watching.  None of them look happy.  Arn excuses himself and says that he has to go make a phone call. 

 

(commercial)

 

We come back and Missy Hyatt is standing by with NWA Commissioner Harley Race.  He's been on the phone all night and he can't prevent it.  The NWA "Board of Directors" is sending someone down next week to "evaluate" Race's performance as NWA Commissioner.  Race doesn't know who it will be, but he'll find that Race runs a tight ship here at the NWA.  Race says that next week, despite this unknown person "snooping around", both NWA programs, Danger Zone Wrestling and W.A.R. will proceed with business as usual.

 

We go to the ring and it's time for the main event.  Cue David Penzer...

 

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

CHRISTIAN CAGE (C) versus VAMPIRO (with Jim Cornette)

 

A very quick and fast paced match as both men seem determined to get an early pin. Vampiro scores with an inside cradle for two. Cage reverses the cradle and gets a two count of his own.  Back and forth.  Cage works mainly on the neck of Vampiro, clubbing away and scoring with a vicious neckbreaker.  Vampiro goes after the back and manages to lock in a brutal bearhug on Cage.  Cage claws at the eyes to escape and sends Vampiro flying to the floor as we go to a commercial.

 

(commercial)

 

We come back and Cage had Vampiro locked in a chinlock.  Cornette is on the apron, trying to distract the referee.  Cage takes a swing as Cornette, who quickly jumps back down to the floor.  Vampiro takes advantage with a knee to the back and anther bearhug.  Slaps to the head frees Christian and he hits a quick snap-suplex for two.  Clothesline by Christian and he goes to the top.  Missle dropkick by Christian, but Vampiro moves and no one is home.  The champ crash and burns.  Vampiro covers for two.  Vampiro slams Christian down and goes up top himself for a big legdrop.  Christian rolls at the last second and Vampiro crash and burns as well.  Christian moves in and uses a cradle to get two.  Cornette reaches in and breaks it up.  Cage rolls to the floor and chases Cornette around the ring.  Cornette scurries through the ring and Christian is hot on his tale.  Vampiro nails Cage with a kick and sets him up for the "Nail in the Coffin"...but Cage ducks in and rolls Vampiro into a small package.  The ref counts three and Vampiro is pinned.

Winner and still NWA World Champion:  CHRISTIAN CAGE

 

Vampiro and Cornette argue as the referee raises Cage's hand in victory.  Cornette and Vampiro attack Cage and start kicking and stomping away at him.  From the back comes Disco Inferno and Masked Superstar.  Vampiro and Cornette flee the ring as Superstar and Disco help Cage up.  We see the three superstars together as the show goes off the air..

 

The end...