WCW Monday Nitro (May 8, 2006)

WCW Monday Nitro

May 8, 2006

Jacksonville, FL

Jacksonville Coliseum

 

Disclaimer:  It's not real - it's just fantasy - just like my dreams about Juvi, Jack Black and several boxes of Sugar Smacks...

 

We open the show as Rich Landrum, Mark Madden & Dutch Mantell welcome us to WCW Monday Nitro.  Landrum explains that regular commentator Tony Schiavone was feeling "under the weather" and took the night off.  It's a big show tonight.  We have Marty Jannetty versus C.W. Anderson as well as Jeff Hardy taking on Buff Bagwell.  The announcers plug the PPV, Spring Stampede, from last night and say that we should probably expect a lot of fall-out from the big event as well. 

 

Speaking of fallout, the music hits and here comes Jeff Jarrett, the NEW WCW World Heavyweight Champion.  Jeff is wearing the big gold belt as he makes his way to the ring.  He gets on the mic.  He told everyone he would do it. He's the man with all the stroke around here.  He's the "Chosen One" and he's the WCW World Champion. 

 

Here comes Harley Race.  Jarrett is the new champion, but it took a guitar shot for him to score the win.  But that's good with Race.  He's hungry again and he's far more dangerous as a challenger than a champion.  He has a rematch clause and he intends to use it. Jarrett asks Race if he's getting senile or if he's just plain stupid.  Jarrett crowned him with the guitar last night.  And he'll do it again if that's what it takes. 

 

Here comes the WCW "Executive Director" Cyrus out from the back.  He wants to interupt before things get too heated.  Race does have a rematch clause in his contract and will get his rematch at Clash of the Champions on May 24th.  But it won't be just another title match.  It will be the WCW World Champion, whoever it is at that time, versus 9-time World Champion Harley Race inside a steel cage. 

 

Jarrett is upset.  There is no way he's facing that crazy old man, Harley Race, inside a cage. "Are you stupid, Cyrus?"  And what's that bit about "whoever it is at that time"?  Jarrett is the champ and will be the champ. Jarrett tells Cyrus that he'd better be careful or he just might "piss me off!"  Cryus speaks up.  He said "whoever is the champion" because Jarrett is pissing him off... and next week on Nitro, Jeff Jarrett will defend the WCW World Championship against Sean O'Haire.  And the winner will face Race at the Clash of the Champions inside the steel cage.  Cyrus tells Jarrett that he can have tonight off to enjoy his title because he might not have it very long.  Cyrus and Race shake hands on the rampway as Jarrett glares at them from the ring and we go to commercial.

 

(commercial)

 

We see video from last week as Buff Bagwell interupts a segment of "Blackjack's BBQ" and ends up being dropkicked from the ring by Jeff Hardy and "Krazy K" Kirby Mack. 

 

David Penzer introduces the men for the opening match.

 

JEFF HARDY versus BUFF BAGWELL

 

As both men are in the ring, we hear Schiavone and the commentators talk about how there is no referee in the ring.  We see Terri Runnels come down to ringside and whisper something to ring announcer David Penzer. Penzer gets on the mic.  By special order of "Executive Director" Cyrus, the special guest referee for this match will be Your New Assiction Krazy K" Kirby Mack. 

 

We see Krazy K come to the ring in a striped shirt.  Buff complains to Penzer and the announcers, but there is nothing any of them can do.  Kirby calls for the bell and we have a match. 

 

Buff starts by immediately throwing fists and attempting to overpower Hardy.  Jeff manages to fight back and nails Buff with several dropkicks before hitting a side-effect.  Buff kicks out at two and catches Jeff with a borderline low blow.  Jeff goes down and Buff covers with the feet on the ropes and a handful of tights.  Kirby refuses to make the count and tells Buff to break it up since he's using the ropes.  We see Buff and Krazy-K argue and Buff shoves Kirby a couple of times.  Kirby just smiles and nails Buff with a punch to the face. Buff stumbles back, reeling, right into the waiting arms of Jeff Hardy who nails Buff with a "Twist of Fate".  Hardy goes upstairs and delivers a swanton as Kirby directs traffic.  Krazy-K drops and makes the count of three as Hardy covers Bagwell.

Winner:  JEFF HARDY

 

We go backstage now where Terri Runnels is standing by with MIke Youngblood.  Mike complains that last night at Spring Stampede, his partners and he took those two crazy men (Terry Funk and Cactus Jack) to the limit and were beating them at their own game - the hardcore match.  We cut to video from last night at the PPV and see closing moments of the match as Ethan Storm "accidently" nails Youngblood with brass knucks, leading to Cactus Jack's pin of the young indian wrestler.  We come back and Youngblood says that he doesn't think it was an accident.  He calls Storm a "punk-ass mark" for wrestlers like Cactus and thinks that Ethan was just trying to get into their good graces at his expense.

 

Ethan Storm steps into the picture. He's explained this a million times to Youngblood and the others over the past 24 hours.  Accidents happen.  He meant to hit Cactus, but he missed.  Get the hell over it.  And by the way, it was Youngblood who got pinned last night - not Storm.  "Yeah, but only after you hit me with those damn brass knuckles!", exclaims Youngblood.  The two men keep exchanging heated words and we see Scoot Andrews and Colt Cabana out trying to restore peace and keep them apart.  Finally, Storm just explodes and asks if Youngblood wants to settle their problems in the ring.  Youngblood says, "Damn Straight!".  Storm says he'll "see you in the ring, bitch" and walks off as the others watch. 

 

Terri asks the other wrestlers for a reaction, and finally Colt Cabana speaks up.  Youngblood and Ethan have history so they can work it out among themselves. But he has something he wants to get off his chest - something he needs to work out.   And he's going to say it... in the ring.  Colt stalks off as we go to commercial.

 

(commercial)

 

We come back and Colt Cabana is in the ring with the mic. This won't take long. He asks the producers to run the footage for him and we back to last night at the PPV to see backstage as Alex Wright chastises Christy Hemme for taking part in Colt's pre-match birthday celebration - presenting Colt with a cake and a kiss before the Hardcore Handicap Match.  As the clip ends, Colt issues a challenge for Alex Wright.  He wants to call Colt names and give Christy Hemme a hard time for prefering to be with real men instead of "Das' Wunderpunk" - why doesn't he do something about it in the ring - right now. 

 

Here comes Christy Hemme.  She doesn't want this to happen and tries to talk to Colt, but he's mad.  And here comes Alex Wright.  Colt needs to learn respect. He's an idiot and a moron.  Hemme is his manager and Colt needs to stay away from her. Wright hits the ring and we see a referee come out and call for a bell.  It's on.

 

COLT CABANA versus ALEX WRIGHT (with Christy Hemme)

 

Forget about flashy moves here.  It's just fists and kicks and with ever punch, we see Hemme distraught at ringside.  Colt is a friend.  Alex is her wrestler.  And they're beating the crap out of each other.  The fists continue to fly and the brawl carries to the floor where we see both men slugging it out, oblivious to anything and everythng around them.  The referee is in the ring counting and calls for the bell as he reaches the 10-count.  Both men are counted out.

NO CONTEST - DOUBLE COUNT OUT! 

 

We see agents and referees come down to seperate the two men, but they're having a hard time trying to get them apart.  Hemme is crying now and pleading with the officials to seperate the two.  The two men are finally seperated as we go to a commercial break.

 

Video promo:  Coming on May 24th - it's the return of "Clash of the Champions"...

 

(commercial)

 

We come back and see video of during the break, Alex Wright has his bags and he's leaving the arena. Hemme is trying to talk to him, but he's ignoring her as he slams his bags into his car.  He's leaving - is she coming?  Hemme jumps into the car just before Wright pulls off and leaves with Alex.

 

We go the announcers to speculate what is going on with Wright and Hemme and what will happen in the future between Cabana and Wright as a consequence because it's obvious it's not over.  Then we cut to video from last night's pre-PPV show, WCW Main Event as we see an in-ring confrontation between Doug Gilbert & Tommy Rich and the debuting team of Antonio & Romeo - The Heart Throbs.  Time to go to David Penzer...

 

"WILDFIRE" TOMMY RICH & "DIRTY" DOUG GILBERT versus ANTONIO & ROMEO - THE HEART THROBS

 

Antonio and Romeo are all smiles as they make their way towards the ring.  They're dressed in glitter and boas and very flashy.  A lot of trash talking as the referee calls for the bell and it's on.  Rich and Romeo are slamming each other around the ring and we see Tommy get the advantage with several left hands and a big Thesz Press for two.  Rich tags Gilbert and the two Memphis boys double-team Romeo in their corner.  Antonio manages to break it up before Romeo is pinned and tags himself in.  More back and forth brawling between Gilbert and Antonio.  Finally all four men are in the ring and the referee is losing control.  Gilbert and Rich seem to gain control and are setting Antonio up for a great double-team.  Romeo, out of the blue, just blatantly kicks Gilbert in the groin right in front of the referee.  The ref, seeing this, calls for the bell.

Winners by DQ:  TOMMY RICH & DOUG GILBERT

 

As Gilbert goes down to the mat, Romeo assists Antonio in attacking Rich and Tommy ends up planted to the mat by a double-DDT.  With both of their opponents down, Romeo and Antonio celebrate in the ring as if they've won instead of being DQ'ed. We cut to a commerical.

 

(commercial)

 

We come back and go to Bob Caudle.  Caudle mentions that they've just received word that next week on Nitro, there will be a match with Colt Cabana taking on Alex Wright - in a "Falls Count Anywhere" Match.   We now to footage from last night at Spring Stampede and the Ladder Match for the Women's Championship.  We see Luna climbing the ladder, but here comes Brock Lensar out and he goes after Luna, chasing her out of the ring.  Ivory and April Hunter climb the ladder, but Luna comes through the ring with Brock still in hot pursuit and as Brock lunges for Luna, the ladder topples and both Ivory and April Hunter go crashing to the hard concrete floor below. 

 

We come back and Caudle is with Ivory. He asks how she's doing and what's the status of the Women's Championship.  Ivory says she's sore and covered with bruises and has some bruised ribs.  But she's still standing.  As for the title, when the match ended last night and she & Hunter fell to the floor, they were both climbing the ladder, so the "Executive Director" Cyrus, decided to hold the title up and make a match with both her and Hunter tonight to determine the Women's Champion.  Neither her nor Hunter should be competing tonight, but she wants her title back.  So if she has to beat April Hunter to get back what's rightfully hers, so be it.  As for what happened with Brock knocking the ladder over, that was an accident and Ivory hopes that Brock, "a big sweetheart with awful taste in women" gets his hands on Luna eventually and "F-5's that crazy skank straight to h-e-double-toothpicks"... 

 

We go back to the ring and here comes Tank Abbott & Hugh Morrus, still the WCW World Tag Team Champions, Rico and the man who leads them all, Soce the Elemental Wizard.  They get in the ring and get the mics.  Soce cuts a little jig as he proclaims that his plans worked.  Morrus and Abbott are STILL the WCW World Tag Team Champions.  The Triad are all big, tough guys, but they're no match for the sheer power of Tank and Hugh, the suave skills of Rico and the brains of Soce.  Elementals > Triad!  'Nuff said!  They have the gold and they plan on keeping the gold. 

And that's all that matters about that! 

 

As for something else, people have been asking him all day why he got involved in the Goldberg - Rock match last night.  Roll the tapes.  We see video from the end of the Rock/Goldberg match as both men are down and the referee is making his count.  Rock is up and Goldberg is nearly up, but we see Soce come down and jerk his leg out from under him.  The referee doesn't see this and just sees Goldberg still down as he awards the match to Rock.  We come back and see that Soce is all smiles as Tank and Morrus pat him on the back, congratulating him on a job well done.  "So the question is, 'Why Soce, why?' ".  Well, it's all about respect.  The Rock is a gentleman.  We've had several conversations backstage about our mutual interests.  We're both major stars in the world of music and Hollywood. He makes movies.  I make music.  We're both celebrities - something no one here in Jacksonville, Florida would know anything about.  As for Goldberg, I thought he was a great guy.  We've known each other for years and he even co-hosted on a talk show that I was part of a few times. I felt he was a big and rough sexy man that I could call friend. But a few weeks ago, I invited Bill to a show I was doing in New York City because I knew Bill was going to be in the city that weekend and I thought he was appreciate it. He said he'd be there, but he didn't show.  No phone calls.  No excuses.  He just didn't bother to show up!  I asked him about it later and he said that "I was busy!".  Too busy for a phone call or an e-mail?  So it came down to the Rock, who I respect and is a fantastic friend, or Goldberg, who stood me up and only excuse was "I was busy!" Well Bill, are you busy now?  Soce puts down the mic as we go to a commercial break before the next match.

 

(commercial)

 

HUGH MORRUS, TANK ABBOTT & RICO (with Soce the Elemental Wizard) - THE ELEMENTALS

versus

DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE, KANYON & BAM BAM BIGELOW - THE TRIAD

 

Another brawl as that seems to be the order of the day.  Kanyon works over Rico in the corner until Abbott manages to break it up with a big knee.  Page & Bam Bam are concentrating on Hugh Morrus and the ring is shaking with impact every time that we see Bigelow and Morrus collide.  It's total chaos in the ring and the referee is having a hard time keeping order. Soce is directing traffic from the outside and is very loud in his vocal support of his team.  Page misses a clothesline and gets nailed by a martial arts kick by Rico.  Kanyon is in and catches Rico with a bulldog.  Everyone is in the ring and it's a total brawl-for-all as all six men are going at it.  Soce is up on the ring apron and distracts Bigelow long enough for Morrus to score with a big powerslam.  It looks as if the Elementals are taking control.  A voice booms out across the arena as we see Bill Goldberg's smiling face appear on the Nitro-tron.  Hey Soce - guess what?   "You're Next"  Soce sees this and starts to panic and freak at ringside, thus distracting his team.  Rico is watching Soce and thus, doesn't see Kanyon come up from behind and nail him with the Kanyon-Cutter.  Kanyon pins Rico as the referee counts three.

Winners:  DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE, KANYON & BAM BAM BIGELOW - THE TRIAD

 

As The Triad celebrates their victory, Soce has Abbott and Morrus gather up Rico and the three quickly head towards the back.

 

We cut to the back and see April Hunter warming up and heading towards the ring.  April Hunter versus Ivory for the WCW Womens Championship is next.

 

(commercial)

 

Bob Caudle is backstage and talking to Luna Vachon.  For a change, Luna is dressed very conservatively and speaks in a normal voice.  She wants to apologize to Brock Lesnar and Sable.  She's tired of running away from Brock and wants to get things straight.  Things got out of hand between her and Sable and she "accidently" injured Sable's leg and ankle and she's really, really sorry.  Caudle asks her about the handicap match that's been signed for the Clash of Champions and Luna gets angry quickly.  There won't be a match at the Clash.  She's a lady and ladies don't wrestle gentlemen, like Brock.  So next week on Nitro, she wants Brock and Sable to both be there so she can apologize in person to both of them for her recent behavior.  Caudle asks is she is really sincere or just tying to save herself from facing Brock and Sable's wrath?  Luna responds with a quick flash of anger, grabbing Caudle, but quickly settles herself down and straightens Caudle's jacket and tie that she just ruffled.  She just wants to do the right thing and really hopes that Brock and Sable will meet her in the ring next week on Nitro ro set things straight and allow her the opportunity to apologize.

 

We go to David Penzer for the next match..

 

WCW WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - TITLE VACANT

LISA "IVORY" MORETTI versus APRIL HUNTER

 

Both ladies are moving slow and stiffly and it's pretty obvious that neither lady is 100% after that big tumble from the top of the ladder last night.  We start off with basic mat wrestling as this is only April and Ivory's second meeting in the ring ever and they are trying to feel each other out.  April takes the first advantage with a drop toehold and locks Ivory in a chinlock.  Ivory uses a jawbreaker to escape and picks up the pace with some flips and big chops.  Hunter catches Ivory with a boot coming of the ropes and moves into a suplex.  Back and forth they go and neither lady is able to maintain a big advantage.  Finally, Ivory decides to go to the top and attempt a bulldog, but Hunter is ready and manages to catch Ivory with a sidewalk slam to the mat.  April locks up Ivory in the center of the ring with an STF submission hold. Ivory struggles for a while and attempts to resist, but is finally forced to tap out.

Winner by submission and new WCW WOMEN'S CHAMPION:  APRIL HUNTER

 

(commercial)

 

We come back and see Terry Funk and Cactus Jack backstage playing cards and talking. Both men are battered and bandaged and can barely move, but they are both still smiling.   "Last night at Spring Stampede was fun", Funk is saying.  "Those kids were tough little bastards!"  Cactus agrees and implies that it was pretty wild. But he wants to see if they can top it.  Funk asks if Cactus is crazy - he can barely move right now.  How the hell can they top beating up four kids in one night on a PPV?  Cactus smiles that crazy smile and says "How about Terry Funk versus Cactus Jack at Clash of the Champions?"  Funk just looks at Cactus and calls calls him a "stupid and crazy S.O.B." Cactus says "Does that mean you'll do it?"  Funk just smiles again and glances down at the cards they're playing. "Your move, dumbass!" 

 

We go back to the ring and here come the Horsemen towards the ring - Arn Anderson, C.W. Anderson, Charlie Haas, Sean O'Haire, Miss Jackie and Woman.  There are several things for the Horsemen to address - both business-wise and on a personal level.

 

O'Haire speaks first.  Next week, he's taking on Jeff Jarrett for the WCW World Championship.  He's been the champ before and he liked it.  And he's going to be the champ again.  He won't let the Horsemen down and will show Jeff Jarrett what "having stroke" is all about. 

 

C.W. Anderson is the next man to speak.  Last night at Spring Stampede, the match against the Outsiders may have been a bust for the Horsemen, but that kind of thing happens sometimes.  He feels personally responsible and assures Arn and the other Horsemen that it will not happen again.  And what better way to make up for things than by bringing the WCW TV Championship to the Horsemen family.  He's wrestling Jannetty later tonight and C.W. thinks - no, he knows that the TV TItle belt would be a great thing to put around his waist. 

 

Arn is next and he assures C.W. that he did a great job last night.  Last night, they got beat.  It happens.  But it took everything the Outsiders had to cheat out a win.  Don't sweat it.  Just do his best and always remember that he's one of the elite and things will be fine. 

 

Woman is next and she addresses what everyone wants to know about.  Where is Kronik?  Woman just smiles that evil smile and says that Kronik are businessmen and she is a business woman and they are taking care of business for her.  Money talks and she has lots of money. 

 

And we finally get to Charlie Haas and Miss Jackie who have big news for the Horsemen and everyone else. Miss Jackie is pregnant and her and Charlie will be parents soon.  So effective immediately, Miss Jackie is taking herself off the active Horseman roster.  She will still take care of business behind the scenes, but will not be competing in the ring or at shows. Charlie is beaming as he hugs his wife and gets on the mic.  "I'm going to be a daddy!"  The other Horsemen hug and congratulate Charlie and Miss Jackie as we go to commercial.

 

(commercial)

 

We see Soce backstage and he's getting a bottle of water from catering. He's jumpy and nervous and looking around, worried that Goldberg might jump out at any time.  A voice calls out "Soce" and we see Soce nearly jump out of his skin.  It's Nick Hogan, Hulk's son.  He just wanted to come say hi to Soce and tell him that he loves the music,  "It freaks out my dad, but I think it's great!", Nick says. Soce starts to relax and thanks Nick for the good words when Hulk Hogan walks up.  He tells Nick it's time to go and introduces himself to Soce.  The two men shake hands as Hulk plugs his daughter, Brooke's music and asks Soce if he could give it a listen sometime and tell what he thinks. Soce is cool with that and he's himself again, all friendly and turning on the charm. Hogan excuses himself and Nick -they have to leave, but before he walks off, he tells Soce to "Be careful.  Goldberg's probably going to kick your ass!"  We see Soce's smile quickly fade as he starts looking around and runs off to find Hugh Morrus, Tank Abbott and Rico...

 

We go to David Penzer who introduces the participants for the next match.

 

"PHOENIX" MIKE YOUNGBLOOD versus ETHAN STORM

 

Both men immediately go at it in a flurry of fists mixed with high impact moves and takedowns.  Youngblood lights up Storm's chest with chops, turning Storm's chest a bright pink from the impact.  Storm fights back and manages to score with a belly-to-belly suplex, tossing Youngblood across the ring.  It continues back and forth until Storm whips Youngblood into the corner and charges in.  Youngblood rolls to the left and Storm hits his knee on the turnbuckle.  Youngblood moves in quickly, taking advantage and locking in the Indian Deathlock on Storm.  Ethan struggles and tries to resist, but is finally forced to tap out.

Winner:  MIKE YOUNGBLOOD

 

As Mike gets his hand raised by the referee, we see Storm pulling himself up and digging into his tights.  WHAMMO!  Storm nails Youngblood from behind with his ever present pair of brass knucks.  Youngblood goes down and Storm stomps away at him before finally rolling out of the ring to a resounding chorus of boos.  The referee checks on Youngblood as we cut to a commercial. 

 

(commercial)

 

We come back to the show and we see a figure coming through the crowd and headed towards the ring. It's Sean Waltman.  Waltman scurries over the railing and goes after a mic, but security is quickly down to stop him and they quickly pile around Waltman.  Eric Bischoff and Cyrus are both out on the rampway and telling security to "stop that criminal" and get him out of here.  The crowd starts a big "X-Pac" chant as we see uniformed security lead a handcuffed Waltman out of the arena as we go to commercial.

 

(commercial)

 

Down to David Penzer for the next match...the main event.

 

WCW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP

MARTY JANNETTY (c) versus C.W. ANDERSON (with Woman)

 

Anderson takes the advantage at the start, working on the back and neck of Jannetty,  Marty fights back and uses the speed advantage to take Anderson to the mat and secure several two counts before Anderson can kick out. A classic wrestling match as Anderson manages to send Jannetty into the ringpost, injuring his shoulder.  C.W. then goes after the arm in classic Anderson strategy with several hammerlock slams before locking in an arm bar submission.  Jannetty makes the ropes to escape.  Anderson is obsessively focused on the arm of Jannetty and keeps going after that selected target.  Jannetty fights back with punches and a dropkick before getting caught with a spinebuster to the mat.  C.W. covers for two as Jannetty just barely manages to kick out.  Anderson continues to work over Jannetty.  Finally, Anderson signals for the end and goes for a DDT, but they're too close to the ropes and Jannetty hang on as Anderson crashes to the mat.  C.W. is frustrated now and walks right into a cradle by Jannetty who grabs a handful of tights to hold C.W. secure.  The ref makes the three count and calls for the bell.

Winner and still Champion:  MARTY JANNETTY

 

C.W. is stunned.  He did everything right and still lost the match. Anderson starts stomping and kicking away at the fallen Jannetty.  And here comes Scott Hall and Kevin Nash for the save.  Anderson sees them coming and clears the ring to the floor.  Nash and Hall are checking on Jannetty as the credits start to roll and we fade to black.

 

The end...