NWA Wrestling All-Star Revue (January 13, 2006)

NWA Wrestling All-Star Revue (W.A.R)

January 13, 2006

San Diego, CA

Cox Arena

 

Disclaimer:  It's not real - kind of like Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny and men who can really go "all night long"...  But fantasy can be cool too.  Enjoy!

 

We open up the show with announcers Rich Landrum and Dutch Mantell at ringside.  Regular color man Mike Sanders isn't there tonight - he had a "family emergency" and will return next week.  They welcome the fans and we go straight to the ring where Blackjack Mulligan is standing by with an edition of "Blackjack's BBQ"..

 

BJM takes the mic and says that things are getting crazy here in the NWA.  There are two Commissioners.  The tag team titles are in limbo.  All the women around here are acting like Mrs. Mulligan "during her monthly visit" and no one can trust anyone anymore.  And that's just how he likes it.  And one of the craziest situations is the one that involves Sean Waltman, Joanie Laurer & Madusa.  It looks to be over.  But is it?  Mulligan wants answers and calls out Laurer and Madusa.  Madusa and the former "Chyna" come to the ring, accompanied by Christy Hemme.  They appear confident and tell BJM that things are NOT over yet.  Sean and Triple H made fools of them and used them... and payback can be a bitch, especially when it comes from two of the biggest "bitches" on the planet.  Madusa states how they (her and Laurer) were ready to throw it in when Christy Hemme approached them a few weeks ago.  Hemme has been an amazing source of inspiration and has helped both of them realize just what they're capable of.  And nothing Waltman or anyone else does can change that. 

 

Here comes Sean Waltman out to the ring.  BJM warns Waltman to keep it cool or else BJM will have to get involved.  Sean tells BJM to "keep your depends on, Cowboy!"  He wanted to talk to the "and I use the term very loosely, especially where Joanie is concerned" ladies.  Madusa and Hemme hold Laurer back.  Waltman wants to know what are Madusa and Laurer going to do?  He suggest a threesome back at the motel.  Hemme steps forth and calls Waltman "slime" and says that they want to settle it in the ring.  How about Waltman call his buddy up in CT and they do a match at the upcoming PPV, "Thunder & Lightning" with Waltman & HHH versus Madusa, Laurer and Hemme.  Waltman starts laughing and says that would be cool with him.  An easy paycheck for "spanking those asses".... Hemme slaps Waltman across the face and says, "It's on! See you at the PPV, chump".  Waltman smiles as the ladies leave the ring, rubbing his red face and says, "You'll be the chumps, bitches!"...

 

(commercial)

 

Cue David Penzer...

 

We come back and Waltman is already waiting in the ring after the last segment.  Penzer announces his opponent...

 

SEAN "X-PAC" WALTMAN versus ALEX WRIGHT

 

Waltman attacks Wright at the bell and tears into him with punches and kicks.  A big slam and several chops in the corner.  Wright fights back with forearm shots and a big dropkick.  Suplex by Wright for two.  Waltman reverses a whip to the corner and connects with a big clothesline.  Waltman tries for the "X-Factor" - Wright tries to counter, but is still stunned from the clothesline and falls victim to the face-first bulldog by X-Pac.  Waltman covers and gets the pin.

Winner:  SEAN "X-PAC" WALTMAN

 

We go to the back where NWA North American Champion Arn Anderson and fellow Horsemen Woman & Mark Copani are standing by with Michael P.S. Hayes.  Tonight here on W.A.R., Copani was supposed to take on Sting.  But Sting isn't here.  Arn just found out from Harley Race that Sting missed his flight and won't be here tonight.  So Copani gets a reprieve.  He's still on Horseman probation though.  Copani says that Sting missed the flight on purpose because he knows that Copani would have destroyed him.  Copani says that he might have messed up a few times.. Woman interjects, "more than a few"...  "But he's a Horsemen through and through and will do whatever it takes to prove that to Arn and the rest!", Copani finishes.  Arn says that's all he wanted to hear.  Now, they need to go find Haas & O'Haire to get ready for the "Best of Seven" match for later tonight.   Arn, Woman & Copani walk off.

 

We see NWA Co-Commissioner Juventud Guerrera talking to La Parka and Hector Garza who are making their NWA debuts tonight in the ring.  Juvi tells them that they're going to do great and he's glad they're a part of his N.W.A.  Juvi spies Lodi standing over in the corner and excuses himself - he's got to go take care of some business.

 

(commercial)

 

Cue David Penzer..

 

JIMMY "THE BOOGIE WOOGIE MAN" VALIANT versus "HACKSAW" BUTCH REED

 

Landrum explains that this match was ordered by NWA Co-Commissioner Juvi, but no explanation was given as to why.  Valiant storms the ring to the sounds of "Boy From New York City" and quickly goes after Reed with punches and an armdrag.  Reed scores with a kick to the guts and a big slam.  Reed clubs away at Valiant and tosses him into the corner.  Reed charges, but Valiant moves and Reed eats ringpost.  Kick and a big elbow off the ropes by Valiant.  He hits the elbow drop and covers for the pin.  Reed is too stunned to kick out and Valiant gets the pin.

Winner:  JIMMY VALIANT

 

As Reed argues with the referee after the match, Valiant dances around and goes into the crowd, high-fiving and kissing several of the fans at ringside as his music plays.

 

We go the back again and NWA Co-Commissioner Harley Race is hanging up his cell phone when he's approached by Missy Hyatt. Race tells Missy that he and Juvi have talked and that matches that she "requested" will is on.  Her match will be on Sunday against Luna on the "Danger Zone" program, while Molly faces Sherri later tonight.  Missy asks how Harley is adjusting to having a Co-Commissioner.  Harley says that Juvi is a freak, but he's a good wrestler with some good ideas, so it's "OK"...  Missy then asks about what the plans are for the upcoming PPV - "NWA Thunder & Lightning" since only one match has been announced so far.  Harley says that he and Juvi are "working on it" and it will be a big show.  There will be a new NWA Cruiserweight Champion established at the PPV, plus Harley just got off the phone with Vince McMahon.  Triple H will be at the PPV and will be teaming with Sean Waltman against Madusa, Chyna and Christy Hemme.  Harley tells Missy that there will be more matches coming so just keep her eyes open.  Now, he has some phone calls to make.  Harley walks off as we go to a commerical..

 

(commercial)

 

We come back and Jazz is standing in the middle of the ring.  She wants Lisa Moretti to get out there right now. They wrestled last week and Moretti only kept the NWA Womens Championship because the referee was a punk and DQ'ed Jazz.  But Jazz destroyed Moretti last week and is ready now to claim her prize - the NWA Womens Championship.  Here comes Moretti from the back and she immediately spears Jazz upon hitting the ring.  It's a brawl and we see referees and agents come from the back quickly to break things up.  As the agents keep the ladies apart, here is NWA Co-Commissioner Juvi out to ringside.  He announces that at the "Thunder & Lightning PPV", coming up on January 26th - it will be Lisa "Ivory" Moretti defending the NWA Womens Championship against JAZZ!  The ladies glare at each other as we cut to a commercial..

 

(commercial)

 

Cue David Penzer...

 

LA PARKA & HECTOR GARZA versus TOMMY RICH & "DIRTY" DOUG GILBERT

 

The two lucha-wrestlers take the early advantage with their speed and lots of quick tags and high impact moves.  Gilbert slows things down with a borderline kick on Parka and several fists to the head.  Garza comes in to help his partner and nails Gilbert with a hard shoulder, sending him to the floor. Rich is in and throwing fists at everyone.  Garza goes to the top rope and hits a big corkscrew plunge on to Gilbert on the outside.  Rich decides to join in the action and hits a cross-body over the top rope to nail Garza.  La Parka is back up and rather than allow the referee to count anyone out, goes flying over the top rope with an amazing flip, nailing Rich.  All four men are down on the outside. The referee is counting and reaches ten before the men can get themselves together and back in the ring.  Both teams are counted out.

Decision:  NO CONTEST - DOUBLE COUNT OUT!

 

We cut to the back and see Harley Race watching the action on the moniter.  He just grunts in approval at the end of the match.  Here is the other Co-Commissioner, Juvi.  He asks Race why Race doesn't like him?  Race says that Juvi has no business being the Co-Commissioner of the NWA.  Juvi says that he was called and offered the job by the Board of Directors.  He would be fool to turn down the opportunity.  Juvi turns on the charm and plays up how Race is an 8-time World Champion and a true legend.  All his friends like Mil Mascaras and lucha-wrestlers, but Juvi was a fan growing up of Race.  Juvi is honored to work alongside Race.  Race scowls - it's all true, but he doesn't need help running the NWA - especially not from a freak like Juvi.  Juvi just smiles and says they need to bond.  Race says he doesn't go that way!  Juvi looks confused and says, "not like that!"  How about a wrestling match?  "Against each other?", Race asks?  "How about as a team?" Juvi says.  "Next week here on W.A.R.?"  Race says OK - it might be fun!  Juvi says that Race won't regret it and moves on as we cut to a commercial...

 

(commercial)

 

We come back and see video of Jim Cornette getting beat up after the six-man main event by the team of Masked Superstar, Disco Inferno and NWA World Champion Christian Cage last week on NWA DZW.  We come back to live action and Cornette is standing by with The Midnight Express, Bobby Eaton & Stan Lane, ready to be interviewed by Michael P.S. Hayes.  He is incensed.  He calls Disco a "punk" and Superstar a "traitor" and says that Cage is the worst one of all.  Cornette always liked Cage when they worked together in the past, but Christian has shown his true colors and is a "coward" and "bully"...  Cornette issues a challenge for later tonight - Cage to put up the NWA World Championship against "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton... "if you're not the gutless wonder we all know you are!"  Cornette says that he's tired of everyone being against him and his Militia - and he's taking names.  Paybacks are coming due!  He tells Hayes to "get a haircut" and then storms off the set, quickly followed by Lane & Eaton.

 

Back to David Penzer for the next match...

 

SHERRI MARTEL versus MOLLY HOLLY

 

Landrum mentions that Missy Hyatt and Luna have both been banned from ringside for this match by NWA Commissioner Juvi.  The ladies exchange slaps as the bell rings and Molly quickly takes down Luna with a front facelock, moving it onto a hammerlock.  Luna reverses and goes after the knee of Molly with a legwhip.  Kicks and stomps by Luna and a bog slam as she locks the leg in a scissorshold.  Molly uses elbows to escape and throws some chops. A whip to the corner and Molly hits the "Molly-Go-Round".  Molly goes up top for the big "Butt Drop" but misses as Luna rolls out of the way.  Luna moves in with a half-crab and cinches it in.  Molly resists for a few moments, but the knee gives and she's forced to tap.

Winner:  LUNA VACHON

 

Landrum informs us that he's received word from the back that Christian Cage has accepted the challenge of Jim Cornette from earlier.  Tonight in the main event, it's Christian Cage defending the NWA Championship against Bobby Eaton.

 

(commercial)

 

We come back and see Michael P.S. Hayes standing by with former NWA World Tag Tag Team Champions Brian Adams & Bryan Clark - KRONIK.  They're down 2 - 1 in the "Best of 7" series against the Horsemen.  It's time to quit playing and start inflicting pain and agony.  Clark & Adams vow victory and to tie the series up because it's all about the NWA Tag Team Titles and it's all about Kronik.  Clark & Adams head to the ring for their match.

 

Cue David Penzer...

 

NWA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP "BEST OF 7" SERIES

(Horsemen lead 2 - 1)

CHARLIE HAAS & SEAN O'HAIRE (with Jackie Gayda) - THE HORSEMEN

versus

BRIAN ADAMS & BRYAN CLARK - KRONIK

 

Kronik takes the early lead as Clark pounds away at Haas and floors the stunned Horseman with a huge slam.  Elbow and a tag to Adams. Double-team by Kronik and Adams covers for two as O'Haire breaks it up.  O'Haire tags in and we see him trade fists with Adams.  A knee by O'Haire and he tosses Adams to the outside.  Adams manages to land on his feet and slides back in the ring as O'Haire shows off to the fans at ringside.  Kick and a DDT by Adams.  More fists and a tag to Clark.  Clark sets up O'Haire for the pump-handle slam but Miss Jackie is up on the ring apron to distract the referee so he doesn't see Clark cover O'Haire.  All four men end up in the ring and a big brawl ensues.  O'Haire is tossed to the floor and Adams follows to continue beating on the former Natural Born Thriller.  Clark has Haas up for a running powerslam, but Miss Jackie grabs the leg of Clark and pulls it, causing Clark to stumble.  Haas takes advantage and rolls Clark into a ball. The referee is down and counts three.  The Horsemen take the advantage in the series 3 - 1 as the referee call for the bell.

Winners:  CHARLIE HAAS & SEAN O'HAIRE (with Miss Jackie)

 

We go to the back and see Jim Cornette giving Bobby Eaton a last-second pep talk.  He will achieve a dream tonight and become the NWA World Champion if he just listens to Cornette's plan.  Bobby speaks and says that Cage doesn't stand a chance.

 

We cut to NWA World Champion Christian Cage who is preparing to head to the ring.  Disco Inferno is there to wish him luck and asks if he (Cage) wants Disco to come to the ring with him in case Cornette has anything planned.  Cage tells Disco thanks, but he's got it covered.  He knows more about being sneaky and playing dirty than Cornette ever will.  Cage is a fighting champion and win tonight - for all the "Peeps".. becuase that's how he rolls.  Disco wishes him good luck and Cage heads towards the ring...

 

(commercial)

 

NWA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP
CHRISTIAN CAGE (c) versus "BEAUTIFUL" BOBBY EATON (with Jim Cornette)

 

A lot of really good textbook wrestling back and forth to start as Eaton and Cage both prove that they are truly masters of their craft.  Cornette jumps on the apron to distract Cage and Eaton scores with a big left to take the advantage.  Fists and kicks by Eaton and a big slam.  Eaton goes up and scores with the big knee.  He covers for two as Cage gets the foor on the ropes.  Slam by Eaton and he goes back to the top.  Eaton flies for the "Alabama Jam", but Cage rolls at the last second and Eaton crashes and burns.  Cage has the advantage now and kicks and stomps away at Eaton.  Cornette is up on the apron again and Cage grabs him by the shirt.  Eaton charges and Eaton collides with Cornette, knocking the manager to the floor.  Eaton is stunned and turns around into an unprettier by the NWA Champion who quickly covers for the three count and victory.

Winner and still NWA CHAMPION:  CHRISTIAN CAGE

 

Cage is celebrating in the ring and here comes, through the crowd, Andrew "Test" Martin and "Big Poppa Pump" SCOTT STEINER.  They attack Cage and start pounding away on the champ.  Test works the ropes and nails Disco Inferno and a couple of NWA officials as they try to enter the ring.  Steiner places Cage in the "Steiner Recliner" and cinches down with the hold.  Cage is trying to escape and taps frantically as Steiner applies the pressure.  Finally, Steiner releases the hold and Cage collapses to the mat.  Steiner and Test flee the ring and Test raises Steiner's arms on the rampway as agents, referees, and Disco attend to the fallen Christian.

 

THE END......